Monday, July 23, 2012

How far we've come....

This is the look Lucy would give people when I would leave her. My sister in law babysat her when she was just a few months old. I had to work for the morning. I'm wondering if Missy's face looked like this too wondering when Lucy would explode. Who was more scared here, Lucy or Missy? 
I can laugh about this now because she has grown out of this.... sort of. She definitely prefers to be with me, but what little one doesn't prefer her mama?

Leaving her used to hurt me. I would cry at the thought of how awful she must have felt. I would pray she didn't feel abandonment or fear. Lucy had separation anxiety at 4 months and she had it bad until just recently. We'll always wonder if she struggles with this because this is how she was made or if it's because she is adopted. That is one of the many questions we come across when raising our girls. We weigh things a little differently. I am much more sensitive to her little anxieties than most people probably think I should be. I hold her a lot. 

Now that she is almost 11 months she has "grown out" of her separation anxiety mostly. She does great being left with her grandmas and grandpas for babysitting. She still doesn't love to be held by people if I'm there. She will go to people and will have fun if she is distracted, but she will look for me and lock in her gaze. Then it's all over... nothing but mama will do. 

I am so thankful that I am her safe place. She feels secure when my arms are around her. (her 2nd choice would be dad, but he still will come to find me when she is just in need of her mom.) We pray for both of these girls to feel deep love and for them to feel safe, happy, secure, attached. We hold them, rock them, sing to them, tell them we love them. 

I'm just glad Lucy doesn't look at people like this anymore.... at least not as often. 

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