figs

Our fig tree has fruit that is ready to be picked, eaten, and enjoyed thoroughly by yours truly. I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for them to ripen. If you don't know already: waiting irritates me. But I have been patient and ignoring the tree for a few weeks so she could get ready for me to get the goods.

Here she is in all her glory.

A fig tree is the perfect place for creepy things and birds to live. The whole time I was picking them I was trying to avoid any leaves that I thought might have a spider on it. Picking them is also a battle of territory between me and the birds. They love that tree and specifically like to do this to the figs. While you are picking there will be these skins that drop from the trees as the birds have lunch.

 

I am in love with the fact that I can pick these off the trees and eat them. I am known to kill plants. All plants. It doesn't matter how much I try to love them, they die. This tree was well established before we even moved in, so i feel pretty safe that it won't die because of me. (Cameron is the one that waters it though, so I'm sure she's pretty safe.) 

If you are looking for me, I'll be in the kitchen enjoying the fruit of Cameron's labor and taking credit for it all the while. Any ideas of good fig things I can make? Share ideas if you have them! I know they are amazing with goat cheese. mmmm.... 

Helping

Many people who know us and love us have asked how they can help with reference to our adoption. There are a few ways you can help and we want to be sure to include you so that you can help in whatever way you'd like to. Trust me, we need all the help we can get! 

1. Pray. We believe that God answers prayers and we'd love it for you to be lifting us up in prayer. Some things to pray for would include: patience (I hate patience), peace, quick matching with a birth family, health for the baby, good decision making for all parties involved, financial blessing, baby in our arms STAT. 

2. Be interested. I know lots of people are interested in what we are doing because you love and support us or you think we're crazy for adopting or you don't know much about adoption and it's intriguing. Well, in the times of waiting, it is really nice for people to show an interest. I know that if I had a growing, pregnant belly people would very often ask about our baby. Since I don't have the visible reminder and people may not know how to ask about it, I think many people shy away from the subject. We love it when people talk with us about our adoption. Cameron and I have very distinct memories of specific conversations with people about our family. So, it really does matter to us when people want to know about it. 

3. Chapstick. Adoption isn't cheap. In fact, it drains our life savings to bring this baby home. We have to pay our biggest amount when the baby comes home with us, which is hopefully soon. We are asking people to support us in this aspect by buying chapstick from us. They are super cute chapsticks with a phrase reminding you that you helped us. We are selling them for $5 or whatever you'd like to give. 

Not only does buying one of these help us out with finances, it also is a daily reminder for you to think of us. It keeps us fresh in your minds. 

Even if you don't live in Arizona, I'd be happy to mail them to you. I know that costs money, which seems to defeat the purpose, but we feel like your involvement is more important. 

4. Spread the Word. Lastly, one way to help is to talk to people about us and let them know what we are doing. If you know someone who knows someone who has a cousin that needs to place her baby for adoption then you can connect us! So, keep your eyes peeled for pregnant ladies that don't look happy about it, and don't be shy. Just ask them if they plan on parenting the child. (Kidding! Although, I have had to fight the urge to do that many times.) 

Thanks for reading this. We are so thankful that we have such a strong support. Let me know if you have any questions. Feel free to leave a comment on here. I'd love to hear from you. Just click on the "comment" link below and it opens a box for you to share something. Have a lovely day! 

Learning

God has been teaching us a lot lately. Sometimes I'm not sure exactly what He wants me to get and other times it's crystal clear. We have certainly had a roller coaster of emotions going on in our house lately and I'm looking forward to being off this ride and onto another. I know that what lies ahead of us will, by no means, be all sunshine and roses. It will be different though, and I yearn for different.

If I, or anyone else, has ever doubted whether or not an adopted child could be loved the same amount as a child that has been born into a family I am certain of the answer. Our child will be born into our family by God placing him or her with us. I know that if I love my children the best that I can by seeking Christ, then it makes no difference if my child has the same blood as I do. So, yes, the love has to be the same. If anything, do I dare say, the love I will experience for my adopted son or daughter may be more fierce. I said it. I can't exactly be too sure, but I'm going with my gut on that one.

The scenario that Cameron and I just experienced with August baby has been pretty amazing. It's been awful and heart-wrenching as well, but it's been wonderful. We got an amazing privilege to meet a family, fall in love with three children, and learn to pray for things we can't control. I know that we prayed countless prayers over that family for health, safety, stability, security, love, peace, direction, and the list goes on and on. We still pray for them and hope I never forget to continue interceding on that family's behalf. God has taught us a lot right now.

I am certain that God pressed it on my heart on Mother's Day this year to be expectant about our adoption. So even though the world seemed to crumble during that 3 weeks knowing that the end was coming, we have since stood up and taken steps forward. (We knew about it for the 3 weeks before sharing it, so we had lots of processing time with it.) I've be working on getting our nursery ready for our sweet baby so that I am actively "expectant." I just bought a bookshelf and painted it. I'm making the mobile for little pumpkin to stare at as well. I've been busy. I'll post some pictures so you can check it out.

thank you

Thank you for your kind words, your thoughts, and your prayers. We really appreciate the support we have in our lives. We are so lucky!

keep praying for our baby (whoever he or she is) and that the baby comes home to us soon!

Unmatched

Well, we are officially unmatched from the birth family with the August baby girl. It is a decision that we made today and we feel like it was the right decision for us to make. We are heartbroken and sad to say that we won't be parents of that little girl, but we will move forward one step at a time. We will go back into matchbooks that are shown to birth moms when they are ready to match. We are praying for the right people to see our letter, choose us, and to do this quickly would be ideal. Please join us in praying for our next step in this crazy, confusing, heartbreaking journey we are on. We know that God has grand plans for our family and it's just a matter of seeing His plans unfold in His timing. (I hate being patient, but that is what I will have to be again.)

I'm sure you are wondering what happened with our match... It has nothing to do with us, but has everything to do with the birth family. I am resting in that fact right now so I don't feel bad about ourselves. About a week after we were officially matched with this birth family, they had some hardships in their lives. Due to choices they were making, they got kicked out the the extended stay hotel they were living in. You can use your imagination about what was going on in order to be asked to leave, since this isn't something we are sharing with people.

Upon their departure from the extended stay, the agency lost contact with them. They don't have cell phones and no one knew where they were going. We have been sitting and waiting for them to get in contact with the agency. It's been about 3 weeks now with no contact. Three long weeks.

I'm sure there are many reasons why they didn't ever contact the agency again: embarrassment, change of heart about adoption, birth mom is young and immature and trying to deal with very grown up decisions, etc. We may never know the reason and that's ok. The hard part of this whole thing is that we felt like baby girl was ours. We really  believed it. So, now we are grieving the loss of our daughter and get ready for a completely new plan.

We go back into matchbooks now. We ready ourselves for a completely different child. We continue praying and preparing. We move forward. We don't really have another choice.

So please pray for that baby girl and her life with whomever parents her. Pray for us and we grieve and move on. Pray for the baby that does come into our house to come quickly and be ready for a party!

Trust Me

This resounds in my ears as I push through the confusion, frustration, anticipation, nervousness, and excitement. We have no idea what God's will looks like at the end of this part of our journey. We do know, however, that we want to be walking in His will.

"Trust me," says the Lord.
"Ok, I totally don't get you, God. But I will trust you," I say.

Then I just keep moving forward one step at a time. We continue taking steps in faith.
I am so thankful for my God who loves me and cares about me and the little things that matter to me.

Fearless Leader

Yesterday we went hiking up north with my mom and step-dad. The trail was supposed to be about 7 miles long. So we grabbed lunch and waters and set out for a fairly quick hike. Well, the trail was not well marked and we got really turned around since you have to cross back and forth over the creek a bunch of times. We got lost. We got very lost.

I was really nervous the whole time once we were officially lost in my mind (after lunch). I could just see us being the ones that have to be life-flighted out of there or they'd have to send in a team of search and rescue people to find us, but there'd be no way to find us because we were somewhere totally off the path. I hiked on for hours thinking about all the terrible things that would happen. I seemed to be the most nervous of everyone in the group. I think they were nervous too, but didn't want to admit it.

We ended up making it out with sore feet and thirsty mouths. We ran very low on water the last hour or so. We got to the car and drank the water we left in there. It was boiling hot and the best drink I'd had all day.

As we hiked yesterday, I watched Cameron. I watched how he responded to the whole situation. When we were deep into the hike with no idea where we were, I made him look into my eyes and I asked him if he was nervous that we were so lost. He replied with, "no, but we need to get out of here." He was steady all day. He was a protector yesterday. He was also selfless. He went without water for over an hour at the end so that other people could have sips. I just love that he is a wonderful husband and leader of our family. I know that he will be an amazing father to our children.

I realize that this post may seem dramatic about being lost, but we were seriously lost. Our hike ended up being 6 1/2 hours long. We probably went somewhere around 14 miles or more and it was supposed to be a 7 mile trail. So, it was dramatic. We thank God for leading us out.