Here she is. She is such a beautiful, wonderful daughter and I am so blessed she's mine. forever. She has a new name and what I hope to be a newfound stability in her life.
We had one our hardest weeks leading up to our court date in regards to behavior and discipline. She was definitely stressed about this transition. I know she loves us and loves being here, but she was hopeful she'd get to live with her old family once again. So she pushed the limits this week. Maybe she was wondering if she'd drive us crazy enough if we wouldn't adopt her forever. Maybe we wouldn't want to be her parents anymore. It breaks my heart to think about what she was going through. Sorry, sweet daughter, you will never get rid of us. We will never go away. Start accepting that now.
I often joke with Emily about how I love her too much and will never allow her to move out of the house. She will have to get married and live in her bedroom with her new husband. If they have babies, the baby will have to live in her bedroom with them. We recently decided that she could move in next door instead of having to live in our house. That way she'd have extra room for her children. It sounds silly but it's also hard to explain forever. I will always be your mom. Even when you are grown, it's me. You will always come home to us for money and safety and advice. I want her to know that.
Her adoption day was very different than Lucy's. Emily was nervous. The judge talked to her and she had to answer. Her nerves were evident as she sat next to me. She would fidget and put her head on the table in front of her. As the judge was talking I began to cry. I cried because I know my sweet girl was suffering a loss. I cried because I gained my daughter forever. I cried because the week before was so hard for everyone in this house and I was just tired and felt like I wasn't sure what to do. I cried because I was so full of joy that God would bless me to be this girl's mother.
When it was over I stood and hugged her. She said, "It's ok, mama!" She was worried about me crying. Sweet, sweet girl.
We have had wonderful days since the finalization. She has been calm and grounded. We have been praying security for her and God has answered that prayer every day. We even got to visit with her birth family yesterday and she was fine after seeing them. She was happy to see them and enjoyed spending time showing off her school skills she's been working hard on. She wasn't sad, just happy she got to see them.
I'm pretty sure Lucy said, "sissy" for the first time yesterday as she looked at her sister. Sweet ending to a sweet week. God is so good!