There are no words. Well, I guess the best description would be to say that my life has recently exploded.
We've been hit hard- sickness, finances, car problems, sickness, acting out behaviors, sickness, planning event after event, stress, stress, stress. I don't even want to write down what it's been like at our house since August. I probably should though because we may go down in history as THAT family that exploded from stress.
We felt like this sometimes.
The good news is that about a week ago I found my joy again. My eyes turned upward and God rescued my sad, self-pitying heart. He changed me. again.
I began to breathe deep and find things to enjoy. I did some things for myself. I did things for other people. I ate ice cream. alot. I went on a date with my husband. Yes, one date in the past few months. I prayed more, cried less, and gained a vision for our family that I had lost sight of.
God wouldn't build our family this way and then leave us. God wouldn't have me quit my job to stay home with my girls and then just leave us. He wouldn't drop us off in the middle of this crazy life and then high tail it out of here.
He wouldn't do that and he didn't.
He has definitely made me wait for things, which if you know me in real life that is the worst possible thing He could have me do. He has given me ample opportunities to trust Him. He has allowed me to parent my girls the way I thought was best and then gave me grace when I made mistakes.
I don't want to walk these past few months again.