more about friday with the birth family

It's been a crazy week. Thank you to all that sent emails, texts, and messages. Thank you to anyone that has been praying for us. Please keep it up!

I had such a great time getting to know our birth family on Friday. I am thankful for the time I had with them and look forward to more time together. It was funny because on Friday I was definitely in the hot seat. They wanted to know more about me that they didn't know. They asked how we planned to handle different aspects of the adoption. They wanted to know names that we had picked out. I just kept answering them the best I could and then thought, "I have no clue if that what you wanted to hear, but that's the truth so I hope you like it."

A match meeting is like a job interview but way worse. It's like a first date that you are really into and you have no idea if they even think you're cute. Well, it took them 2 weeks to decide they wanted a "2nd date" with us. We are all committed to each other at this point, but it still isn't final until relinquishment paperwork is signed and that cannot happen until 72 hours after birth of the baby (at the earliest). There will probably always be a little bit of caution we use when talking with them. Things feel really comfortable though, which I think is a really good sign. We look forward to moving further into our relationship with them.

It sounds like they want the adoption to be really open. We do too. I think the sound of "open" can freak people out at first. It did with us too. A year ago we would have told you we wanted more of a closed adoption with minimal contact. After taking classes, reading books, talking with others we will tell you now that it doesn't scare us for them to have visits with us. It doesn't bother us one bit that they want to be part of her life. It doesn't make us nervous that they love her a lot already. In fact, we are thrilled about these things. We know how amazing it can be for our baby to have access to her birth family. It can be healing for baby and birth family to know that the other is growing and well. It gives us an opportunity to love God's people. The benefits far out-weigh the negative aspects.

We believe that we are called to this ministry of adoption. We look forward to building relationships with people that are connected to our children by blood. We will navigate those waters as they come up and will have to rely on God for strength to get through it. We are excited about having a very strange and uncommon relationship. Isn't God great!? Clearly this is not us talking from our own strength, but rather His encouragement that our lives can impact a whole family of people.