Well, it has started. The "it" I'm referring to is the one where people find us intriguing. They don't exactly see how she and I fit together and so they start commenting. It has mostly been out of sheer curiosity and has been harmless. I can see where it will be going from here though. I've heard stories and read many blog posts about how thoughtless and hurtful strangers can be. Fielding comments from complete strangers is something we signed up for when we decided to adopt, especially when we wanted to adopt a baby of a different race. Lucy is biracial and Cam and I clearly are not. The wonderings are bound to happen.
So far we've only gotten things like:
- "Is she yours?"
- "Where does that dark hair come from? Her mom/dad must have really dark hair."
- "Wow, she's dark."
- "She's not yours, is she?"
So, we haven't had anything too crazy. The one about how dark she is made me want to slap someone because I don't think it came from a nice place. I know these are only the beginning.
It's amazing that we first adopted a newborn and not an older child. I get to practice how I react to people's comments while Lucy is unable to understand. I get more time with that as she is so tiny now. I get to ease into it so that when she is older and able to understand people's questions about our family and why we don't all... match, I will have experience in how I respond and react to the situation.
My hope is that she always sees us reacting in a way that protects her and her story. I always want to react in a way that gives the "attacker" the least amount of power. I always want to react in a loving way that shows Jesus to anyone around. Now, that last one is hard for me. If you haven't met me yet, you should know that I'm sassy. I speak my mind and don't have a problem with a little confrontation. I even think it's a little bit fun sometimes (I know, I'm a sick puppy). So, reacting in love doesn't mean that I show Lucy how to be a doormat. It means that I show her how secure we are as a family unit that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it. It may also mean that we educate the public on thinking before speaking.
For what it's worth, I get comments like that too! Seriously! "Now...where does his dark skin come from?" "Is she a halfsey?" "Where on earth does she get all that curly hair?" It's that 1/64th Indian I was telling you about... ;)
ReplyDeleteheehee...i giggled when i saw this post... both our son (age 5 and our daughter, 10 months) are biracial... birthmoms are white and dads are Lebanese and brown... but boy oh boy, are our children beautiful. i giggle often as i always silently wished in my heart that our children one day (looongg before we couldn't have children of our own)..have curly hair and strong skins... hehehe... they have curly hair and very strong skin...
ReplyDeletebest one i got? there is 2...the one was where an old lady bent down to bella and asked her : ' did your mommy forgot to put sun protector on your skin?'... and i bent down to bella and said: tell the lady, no, my mommy did not. i'm just so lucky to have a strong skin.
and the best one to date? took kellen, (our son) to a party and one of the children's mom asked me straight forward: 'did you marry a coloured man?'
i just giggled and said no, we adopted our children.
i must admit...sometimes, i get quite satisfied by the shock on their faces and then the pity when they hear we adopted them... i don't even wait for an answer.. i turn around and walk away...
i think the best thing is to be prepared for any question so that we can be the parent they deserve through God's love. (how's that..hehe).
you have beautiful beautiful daughters xx