bumps in the road....

bumps in the road.... that seems to be the name of the game lately.

If you know me well you'll know I'm a planner. I love schedules and plans and predictability. These things warm my heart. They make me feel calm and safe. I'm sure this sounds ridiculous to those of you that throw caution to the wind and are spontaneous. It's who I am though. I function best when there is a plan and everyone sticks to it.

I used to care a lot about not looking "crazy" to people about this subject. Some people just don't understand it. Others speak my language. I used to try to hide it (yeah, like it wasn't obvious). Then I married a man that makes no real plans in life and just goes with the flow. Great combo... we totally don't get each other. It has taken time to really understand each other. He is really nice about my OCD about this. I've learned to be more patient with bumps and willing to adjust. I've also learned to accept that part of me and go with it. God created me to be this way. God made my brain function best with structure and planning. He made me tick the way I do. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, even in my wackiness.

All of that to say that right now I feel very out of control of my life. This is not a good feeling for me. There are some amazing and wonderful things happening in my life that I won't go into now. There are some things that are stretching me and challenging me in ways I don't want to be stretched and challenged. These are the bumps. These are the things that don't fit into my original plan or the millions of revised plans I have made as life continues to change. That just really gets me irritated.

Trusting is what I have to do when my life feels out of control. I have to know that I am not the one driving this bus. I am the one that is along for the ride. I trust God. It might not seem like I do when you hear me get frustrated or doubt when things happen. I trust Him with my whole life. I trust His plans for us.