I was asked often about Lucy's name before she was born and immediately after. People wondered how an adopting family goes about naming the baby. I always meant to explain Lucy's name and the process of choosing it and I don't think I ever did. So, here it goes.
People always wondered things like:
- Who chooses the name in an adoption situation?
- If the birth family chooses something you don't like, you can just change it legally, right?
My answer is: it all depends!
The name of the game in adoption is always to be flexible. You never know how things will work out until it is. You can't accurately predict adoption. It's challenging for those of us that like to control and direct and be in charge. God taught me a lot during our adoption of Lucy.
A birthmom can absolutely name her baby. She may or may not include an adoptive parent in the decision. An adoptive parent has every right to change the baby's name legally when you finalize the adoption and get the new birth certificate. An adoptive parent must always consider the relationship that is being formed in an open adoption.
Lucy's name is very special to us. I think it took our crazy little village to name her. I probably won't be able to explain every piece that went into naming her, but I'll try. Cameron and I had a list of little girl names that we mulled over for months and months. There were a good handful on the list that lasted the test of time. One of those names was Lucy.
After Lucy's birthmom "chose" us and wanted to be matched with us, the girls went and had a fun day of pedicures and lunch to get better acquainted. She was getting ready to entrust her daughter to us, after all, so a girl day was in order. While sitting and getting our toes done she asked me what names we were considering for the baby. My heart began pounding and I got really nervous to share any of them with her. What if she hated them? What if this would be the deal breaker that made her not want to place her daughter with us? Nervously, I began to explain something. I explained to her that she and I must have similar taste in names because there is a little one in their family by the name of Emily, which was our first choice for a name for a long time. There is also a little one in their family with a name that has "lu" in it and we love the name Lucy. I couldn't even remember all the other names on our list at that time because I was just so nervous. I felt like I really didn't even answer her question because I just told her 2 names that wouldn't work because there are already family members with very similar or same names.
She said, "oh, that's nice." (she said it really nicely. Lucy's birthmom was really shy with us at first.) I sat in my chair while the lady was going to town on my feet and I just wanted to die. I thought I blew it by rambling and mentioning Lucy and she probably hated that name. Well, a little bit later we went to lunch. After arriving at lunch she said, "I've been thinking about it since you said it and I like that name. Lucy. I like it."
I sat in my chair at lunch and thought, "Did Cameron really like that name or was that one that I just liked? I hope he liked it because that's going to be her name." We got the seal of approval from the one who would be birthing her. We all agreed. Her name would be Lucy. It was really important to us that we collaborated on a name with the birthfamily if they wanted to.
Then they shared that Lucy's birthfather wanted her to have the middle name Wisdom. He wanted her to have that name to be a blessing over her life. He hopes and prays for her to wise. Wow, what an honor to have Lu carry a name given to her by her birthfather with such meaning. Of course we would use that name.
I have always loved the name Jane. It's a family name on my mom's side. My great grandmother was Lettie Jane (sounds a lot like Lucy Jane).
Cam has 4 names. The birth family all uses 2 middle names. So, Lucy has 4 names. Match made in heaven!
Her name is Lucy Jane Wisdom. It's a good name. All the people that love her most contributed to her name. She carries with her a part of all of us. We were blessed with an opportunity to all name her together. I'm sure there are many people with much harder stories about disagreeing. We are thankful for our experience that we were able to have.
Soon she will officially share our last name too. Our final court date is set for March. Yay!
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