Brokenness

I am reminded that our adoption, as happy as it may feel to us, is coming out of brokenness of another. The pain that they feel knowing it is probably best for their unborn daughter to have different parents and a different life is a pain that I hope to never experience. The challenges they are seeing in their every day lives and relationships is tough. As I sit and think about them and the future of our family, I have been reminded to pray a lot. This whole concept of taking a child as our own is a daunting task. The way we are adopting (domestic rather than international) gives us the beautiful challenge of adopting the whole birth family when we adopt their daughter. It doesn't mean that they have to call us all the time and come over to our house to hang out, but it does mean that we are accepting the responsibility to mindfully pray for them. We will hopefully have a good relationship with them where our daughter will get to spend time with each of the parents, as well as, her sister and brother.

As things unfold and I gather the pieces of information about this family, my heart truly aches for them. They are trudging through thick, muddy waters and struggle to keep their heads high enough to survive. I desperately hope they chose to connect with us for a lifetime. I do believe deep in my heart that we are to be parents of this sweet girl. I also believe that we are to forever commit to this birth mom, dad, sister, and brother of our little girl. We will commit to loving them, praying for them, and walking through life close by. What an honor it would be to be given that opportunity.

Please pray for our birth family. They need it.
Please pray for us. We need it.

Red Letters

We have been watching our agency's website. Let me try that again... I have been stalking our agency's website for months now. I look at all the other couples that are waiting for babies. Here you can see everyone's match letters and judge them  read about their lives. On the page you can see a picture of the couple and then the first few sentences of their match letter. When something with your status changes they post it across your face. This is the way that we (couples who are waiting for babies and stalking the website) can know what is happening with other couples. I guess birth parents could use it to look at adoptive couples, but it's hard to find on the site. Today is the day that we have red letters across our faces. It feels good. It feels great. God is faithful.

That couple below us are our amazing friends, Whit and Ally. We met them in our classes through the agency. They are matched too and their baby girl is due August 13th- that's 2 days after our baby girl is due. God, again, is faithful and good. I just wanted to share what may seem like a small victory to any ordinary person, but to someone going through this adoption process it's huge: today we have red letters on our faces.

Family 512 - Cameron and Kim

Thank you for taking some time to read about us and get to know us a little bit. We have been praying for you and your baby for months now. We hope the Lord is guiding you during this time and we look forward to hopefully spending time with you in the future... (read more)

Family 514 - Whit and Allyson

Hello! We are so thankful that you are taking some time to get to know a little bit about us and we are excited to begin this amazing journey with you! We are Whit and Allyson and can't wait to grow our family through adoption... (read more)

MATCHED

We are officially MATCHED! This is amazing, wonderful, overwhelming news. This is pretty much how we feel.

We had our meeting today with both the birth parents, Taylor and Michael. The meeting lasted about an hour and we left there feeling really unsure about how they felt about us. We had a chance to talk with the pregnancy counselor, Christine, before we left and we told her that we were in for moving forward with them. Cameron and I went to Aunt Chilada's and got ourselves a margarita. At the time, it felt like a confused and kind of wallow-in-your-pity margarita. We ran over the meeting time and time again, analyzing what we said, how we said it, and how we would say it if we had another chance. While we were enjoying our delicious beverages our phone rang. It was Christine telling us that they liked us and want to move forward with us. YAY!!!

So, we are officially matched. That means that they have the intention to place their baby for adoption into our arms and we have every intention on parenting this sweet baby girl. We are thrilled, to say the least. It feels surreal. While I was talking to Christine I mentioned that we left feeling like they didn't really like us or were very unsure of us. She assured me that it was just their personalities and that was the way they have been from the beginning. She said that it will take time for them to warm up more. That made us feel a bit better.

From here we will meet again late July to talk further about how the hospital will go and we'll outline our relationship with them for the future. She did invite us to go to doctors appointments with them. YAY! She didn't know when her next one is scheduled for, so we're waiting to here about that in the days ahead. We could see them more, and hope to. It all just depends on comfort levels and how willing they are to open up to us. They don't have cell phones, so the ball is in their court for communication with us.

Our day has been a roller coaster of emotions. At the end of the day we are happy, tired, in shock, thrilled, and feeling ready to be parents. Today has been a good day.

I didn't yet mention that Taylor and Michael had their two children with them. That's right... we just got a glimpse of what our daughter will look like. All I can say is "Lock up your boys. She's going to break some hearts." They were beautiful children (girl- almost 2 and a boy- 9 months). This was a huge blessing that we got to see them.

this blog

This blog is to give me a place to tell about our adoption process and the transformation into becoming parents. It is also a place for me to share pictures and projects that we are working on. Please "follow" me so you'll get updates in your email each time I post. Please feel free to comment as well. Thanks for reading.

the call

This was written on May 10th.... 

This week has been great for us. It marks our next step in our adoption journey. We have been chosen by a birth mom and dad. That means that they saw our match letter with pictures and liked us (crazy people). They want to meet us to see if we will move forward with being officially "matched" with them. This news is amazing, exciting, and not as shocking as we thought a call like this would be. We have been praying very specifically lately. I've heard from the Lord to "be expectant" on Mother's Day. So when the phone rang my heart stopped for an instant and then a sigh of relief came over me and I said, "this is it!" So far, this scenario has just felt right. It has wonderful written all over it. As excited as we are, we must still remember that this is in the very early stages. Nothing is final until relinquishments are signed after the baby is born. So, please rejoice with us, but also know how delicate and variable the situation is. 

Here are some things we know: 

• The sweet baby girl is due August 11th. Clearly August is awesome. Maybe she'll be born on my birthday (and Lindsey's).   
• Birth mom and birth dad are together and are both participating in the agency's services (counseling, etc.) 
• They want an open adoption and we do too! The term "open adoption" can be anything from letters/pictures being shared to having visitation and a closer relationship. We won't know specifics on this until later and we actually may not know until we are living it, to be honest. We will have to follow the Lord's guidance for navigating an uncommon relationship. 
• Birth mom is having a healthy, normal pregnancy, so baby girl is healthy. yay!
• Baby girl is biracial. Thank you, Lord! I cannot wait to eat her up! 

Here are some things you can pray for: 

• We meet birth mom and birth dad on Monday, May 23th at 2:30. I'm very nervous about this part. It is the hardest job interview you'll ever go to. These people have to like us and think we are wonderful enough to parent their child. To be in their shoes would be hard- no one would be good enough to me. I already have visions of my red face, nervous chattering, and sweaty armpits. What a sight! "Pick me!!" is what that vision screams. 
• The health of sweet baby girl August- health is always a pregnancy concern. 
• Decision making for both parties is huge right now. Not only do they have to choose us, but we have to choose them. Pray that we would all feel confident to move forward or not and that we would have a comfort level with the whole situation to speak our minds. 

Here are some things to remember: 

• We are in a very preliminary stage right now and anything can change in an instant. Nothing is final until way later and nothing is even official at this point. 
• Please be excited for us and ask questions about the process. I never mind explaining how it all works. I am breathing this stuff right now and I realize most people haven't had the exposure to it. 
• Please be sensitive. There may be information about our family situation that we aren't comfortable sharing with others. If we say that we aren't comfortable sharing something, please don't take offense. There may be things that will be part of our child's story to tell if she sees fit one day. These things are not important things you'll need to know in order to love her- trust me. It is just a privacy issue.   

Thank you for reading my ramblings if you've gotten to this point. We want to include you along the way as we move forward with this wonderful journey God has taken us on. We look forward to sharing the next steps with you soon. We love you very much and are so thankful. Keep praying!